because I lie so much and it sickens me sometimes I say I want to stop and i will for a few days and then its back to square one. its getting to the point that I even start to believe my own lies. I'm still at home with my parents and i'm over 24 but not over 29, i'm immature and still play games, i screwed up my teenage years and most of my 20s and the fact that I cant go back in time to change it, I'm bitter, jaded and angry with myself. it's like I say i want to change and I'm not trying or if i try i give up because I'm not patient.